Tobias and Hamish may look similar in some ways (I don’t see it) but believe me, they are completely different personality wise. Now, I know, you shouldn’t compare your children. This post isn’t about comparing who’s better than who it’s just highlighting how very different they are for bad or for good! To add to this, things change and who knows what they’ll be like in a couple more years – relationships, other people, culture etc change how a person reacts, their behaviour and who a person is deep down.
Both children fit into the stereotypical 1st child, 2nd child ‘boxes’ and this made me think more about how they were brought up, if they were treated differently and if this had an affect on them.
Tobias, our firstborn, was brought up by trial-and-error (I’m not afraid to admit it, I still feel like I’m winging it)! Perhaps this meant that both, Gavin and I were extremely attentive, stringent with rules, and overly neurotic about the small things. This in turn seems to have made Tobias a performer, always striving to please people.
.In contrast, I’m embarrassed to say Hamish, our second child, is lead with less of an iron fist due to our expertises (i joke with this word, of course, lol) and our experiences from Tobias. Sometimes I’m forced to be less attentive to Hamish due to having two children to look after. This, in my opinion, has caused Hamish to be less of a perfectionist but more of a people-pleaser. It has also made him more of a needy character, e.g. the clingy stage seems to be lasting a lot longer.
As the leader of the pack, firstborns often tend to be:
- Achievers with a winning attitude
- Diligent and want to be the best at everything they do
In general, second children tend to possess the following characteristics:
- Somewhat rebellious
- Thrives on friendships
- Has large social circles
I’m sure the dynamic changes again when more children are in the family, or even with single child families. I would love to hear if you agree with me on this subject or completely disagree, please feel free to share your findings or own experiences with me!