Since announcing that we are expecting baby number three, we have experienced both the expected ‘congratulations’ and some unexpected opinions from both family and friends. If I had a pound for every time I have heard the following responses about having a third baby, I’d probably have enough money to comfortably afford a third baby!
1) “Was it planned?” The question that’s really being asked here is, “Was it an accident?” By the time you’re several pregnancies in, the chances are you won’t bat an eyelid at family members or total strangers enquiring about your reproductive intentions. By now I hope they all know that I woulds like a big family (and I’m not joking)! Of course, it’s more than possible that baby three was indeed an oopsie for some families (number three for us, is a planned but earlier than expected baby).
2) “I bet you’re hoping for a boy/girl!” If you’ve already got two children of the same sex, comments about “keeping everything crossed for the other sex” start the moment you share your pregnancy news. As far as everybody else is concerned, there is no way you would be wanting more than the average 2.4 children, simply because you just would like to have more children!
3) “You’re going to need a new car/your house is too small/you’ll have to scale back on holidays!” Because this is the first time it’s been brought to my attention about the day-to-day logistics of having three (please note I have ups and downs about handling three children on a daily basis – it can be overwhelming)!
4) “So how many children are you going to have in total, then?”The assumption being here, of course, that now you’ve pushed past the average 2.4 children per family, you’ll just keep going until you end up with a television documentary (#goals (lol))! My answer is usually “We’ve got potential of ten bedrooms at the family farm, that currently aren’t being used,” which does stop the further questioning.
5) “With any luck, you’ll sneeze this one out!” Or “it must get easier to push them out”! You’d think this would make me hopeful and feel better, however it has the complete opposite affect. I’ve had two labours that have gone super well so far so I’m expecting a twist this time, as a side note this is mainly what my dreams/nightmares are full of currently!
6) “Will Daddy be having the snip after this one?!”Firstly, Gavin is amongst the people who has made this comment!!! Secondly, after years of conversation with said husband I’m pretty adamant that he doesn’t have the ‘balls’ to book himself in for an operation and deal with the aftercare bits (he’s a little bit squeamish about blood)!
7) “You’re brave!”Offered in jest and usually followed by, “Blimey, you’ll have your hands full”! Tobias will have turned three in the November and will be fully toilet trained by then (I hope), Hamish will be eighteen months old and walking (I hope) and I’ll have a newborn! Of course it’ll be busy, JUST HOW I WANT IT!
8) “There must not be much to do on the farm, buy a tv” this statement has been used since the start of televisions! Now I can confirm that we do have shocking internet where we live but I promise I get to watch plenty of children’s programme throughout the day and I’m really not missing out on much television through the night either! The most hilarious part to me about this statement is that people seem to think that Gavin and I are at it like rabbits, believe me, contrary to this belief I’ve been very fortunate in getting pregnant super easily and super quickly (much to Gavin’s dismay)!
9) Do you know what contraception is”! Yes, it’s called breastfeeding and has worked well for me every time (disclaimer, I wouldn’t take this as bible that it’s a definite contraception)!
I was dumbfounded by responses like this. I make no apologies for wanting more than two children. I realise I’m super lucky to have been able to have children and to have already had the pleasure of watching two boys grow. But maybe be mindful of what you say – sometimes a simple congrats is better than any more words! After speaking with other people on this subject I’ve come to realise that there is no right position to be in. If you decide to have only one child, you’re seen as being selfish; if you have a boy and a girl but want more, you’re crazy; if you have two of the same gender and don’t try for a third of the opposite sex, you’re lazy; and if you straight up want a football team of kids, your sanity is questioned!