This may just be due to current circumstances but I feel like this year is moving at a crazy speed. It’s a normal thing, to be busy. Especially so on the farm. Gavin finds it nearly impossible to sit still and not be doing something, that’s because there is always something to do on the farm, there’s no such thing as a quiet day! It often feels like we bounce from one “crisis” to another.
When problems arise there isn’t time for eating at the dining table with the family, home repairs, holidays or nights out with friends. If I’m honest, being a farmers wife can be isolating because of this. Being married to a farmer means sometimes having to put everything else in life on hold or standby. Especially between April and October when silage season is in full swing and most jobs are out in the fields. I often find myself envying parents who have their partners home by six, who are able to take holidays when suits them and who are able to accomplish home projects together.
There’s many a time I get angry at Gavin, when my frustration is aimed at the farm instead. Gavin can’t just take a week off at home, as the farm is right there and he can’t breakaway from that concept, which proves doing any home improvements is impossible or at least takes six years in the making to complete! I have to remind myself that marriage can’t be selfish, especially being married to a dairy farmer. I chose that man and I chose this way of life.
I understand we will spend our entire lives trying to balance, trying to carve out time, memories and moments that aren’t farm related. Holidays will be during the colder months when days/weather mean there aren’t as many jobs able to be done on the farm. Jobs around the house will be completed (probably when the children have moved out), but there’s always something to do in the house, right?
You can’t compartmentalise farming. It’s not a job; it’s not a hobby. It’s most definitely a way of life. Love and marriage aren’t about perfect equality. There are times where we must help each other out. Whether it’s through me delivering meals, organising picnics, doing bath time and bedtime routines on my own or just offering a listening ear. So I will enjoy my nights on my own, as really they are short lived and make the special moments, extra special.